poppymoon wrote:So....is NO ONE going to say anything about Prince George Pointy Cone-Head?
Blimey, you lot are too cool for school!
Never, in all my years, have I encountered such cruel and foul-minded perversity .... Have you ever considered a career in the church?
Your pic has just made me snort into my breakfast cuppa. Nice shorts Jesus, no wonder you keep having trouble with botty invaders if you're always stood with your legs wide open, that's just going to invite trouble. I do like the nuclear glow you've achieved, very fancy. If you ever appear in front of me in some sort of religious vision I'll make sure to get on my knees... and pray. What did you think I was going to say?
Wasn't Mary Magdalene Jesus' prostitute girlfriend? I'll have you know this nun is as pure as snow and has never had a Magdalene experience, I even have my big iron chastity knickers on under my nun dress.
oomska wrote:I think I got it slightly wrong about being Jesus 2, on quiet reflection I have relegated myself to a level 3 Jesus, Brian easily holds on to the No 2 spot .. you see I think I would end up being more like gods illegitimate bastard Jesus who was kicked out of the family long ago for breaking tradition because I had embraced the fine art of turning water into hard narcotics, also using my hereditary powers to play and win at the local late night poker sheds then spending all the dodgy Shekels in high class brothels that's if I can find the key to this damn itchy belt.. well what do you expect I am only a low ranking deity.
oomska wrote: word of warning ... don`t rely on the iron clad pants they wont give you any protection as the modern day Jesus in this techy age could easily carry out his cheeky immaculate conception via bluetooth ... not as much fun but he is on an unlimited free monthly data tariff
oomska wrote: With your Nunnery talents you would be marvelous at any Ted-fest gathering I can just see the fans grasping their bits of wood with both hands and waving it in the air in excited anticipation at Sister Ellie`s arrival and as a bonus you could enter the loverly girrells competition.
oomska wrote:I can just see the fans grasping their bits of wood with both hands and waving it in the air...
Don't forget though, Brian wasn't the messiah, he was a very naughty boy.
So like the Holy Stone of Clonrichert, you need to get some priests and bishops out to bless you and upgrade you to a class two Jesus again. Sister Ellie would be glad to attend, swinging the incense over you, I'll bring all the other young busty nubile nuns I can find with me but you'll have to provide your own refreshments after the ceremony as there's nothing nuns like as much as tea and a nice sausage roll or two after doing their religious duty. Don't forget the cake and fine wine too.
Also your powers of turning water into suspect liquids might come in useful as some mental person went through my room last night and found my secret bottle of Jack Daniels hidden in my knicker drawer ,and they poured it down the fucking sink. So Jesus 2, if you could replace that for me I'd be eternally grateful.
Ellietronic wrote:Blimey, thanks for the warning. I will have to get some special kind of electrical forcefield pants instead, I hope they'll protect me from any bluetooth holy bits probing around.
Ellietronic wrote:Haha I think that picture is the nicest thing anyone has done for me recently.
I would love to enter the lovely girls competition, I will have to buy a lovely dress in preperation and practise my lovely laugh, as my current laugh sounds like a hyena being strangled. Also I will have to work on my joke telling, as a lovely girl would probably never make jokes about iron chastity knickers and happiness dragons being buggered. So as long as they never find out how pervy I really am, I might have a shot at winning.
Ellietronic wrote:Your euphemism is showing.
oomska wrote:Haha with that bizarre scenario of Nun lust temptation that you have just implanted in my mind .. definately yes, sod it I can be easily led to the promised land and be elevated back to a level 2 jesu` though I hope the job is not going to get too preachy and also as of late I have developed an unusual aversion to Vinegar and flat headed nails, so maybe I will have to do 40 days and nights probation first to see if the job suits me .... after the successful Jesu` 2 incantation all the exhausted Nuns can go and relax at the local picnic area and chat in depth about Donkeys. cassock weaving, fiddlesticks and the latest design in Stealth candles.
ooksma wrote: Dont forget to practice your lovely girrells walk around the ultra difficult traffic cone obstacle course, it could mean the difference between winning or losing that slap up meal at Mrs Miggin`s pie shop, though if I could be the judge I might be a bit biased towards the one that laughs at and tells the most pervy jokes.
oomska wrote: Sorry about that .. stupid zip is busted on me jeans
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