my fave easy to make meal, fooking lovely.
so i go in the kitchen, its late, after 12 and ive been working all day and decorating the lounge all evening, and had no lunch tea or supper. my mrs is dozing in the lounge. so i ask, "you hungry?" to which i get a dozy "no" on with the beans, open the bread bin, yeehar, thick toasty bread, pop it in the toaster, and pop my head round the door "im making something to eat, you want anything?", and again, "no" so up pops the toast and i put some more in, and butter these 2, then i stir the bubbling heinz beans and again look in to see the boss now awake reading her magazine. "im making beans on toast, you sure you dont want any? again, i get, "no , im not hungry" so i pop back in the kitchen, get the plates and cutlery sorted, and just in case call out to her, "what about just some toast then? shall i do you a couple of slices?" this time a more forcefull "NO" comes back the reply, so, knowing when im beaten, i decide not to make more toast, and pour the now cooked beans over the 2 slices of toast on my plate. a good sprinkling with plenty of white pepper and im sorted. pick up my plate and the sideplate with my 2 slices on and walk in the lounge. as im eating alone i sit on the sofa and put the plates on the small table in front of me, i pick up my fork and am about to dive into my breakfast/lunch/tea/supper all combined when she does it. simultaneously she reaches a hand past my incredulous face and picks a slice of toast off the sideplate before me, and says, "now ive seen it, i am quite peckish" !! my face goes as red as the beans on my plate, steam spurts from my ears.
every time. every single fucking time she does this. and when she refuses and i actually do make her something, she comes out with "well i told you i wanst hungry, and now YOUVE wasted this food" and then procedes to watch it go cold in front of her. yet when i dont make her something, she just helps herself to mine. only a small thing, but it drives me fucking crazy.
"imagine the size of his balls!"