I'm not doing Christmas!

Vent spleen here.

Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by McFuck » Thu Dec 13, 2012 4:27 am

I'm with you OOmska! Fuck it all! All Scrooges are invited to my house on Christmas for drinks and there will be no HOHOHOing.
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by HE Bates » Thu Dec 13, 2012 5:18 pm

oomska wrote:Ok this may sound a tiny, tiny bit crass and insensitive, but I can`t help it its what I do best, so if you are easily offended please leave the room and put minors to bed......and furthermore there will be no flash photography during this communication.

In my humbugged opinion, Christmas day should be renamed thus .... Socially obliged to give and receive useless tat - day ... now are you with me, its just that not once have I seen Iceland, M&S or any big conglomerate give a mention to the late and great baby Jesu` who allegedly voluntarily sacrificed himself on the cross just so we could cram as much food and drink down our throats until our livers swell to the size of Beyonce`s arse until it bursts all over the cat or so we get to see who is going to receive the latest I tablet game pad nanu gobbler phone bollocks 23iix from Argos with a £5 money off gift voucher .... fuck all this consumerist twaddle and fuck you Boney M, I just thank my local God that at least he made me an Atheist and by the way at the same time starved all those poor innocent African babies and gave them AIDS ... well done sir.


Right, now where is my anti Santa outfit, I`m off to the grotto to share my worldly wisdom with some needy 8 year old brats, dont tell anyone but secretly I am hoping Santa falls off his sleigh and his reindeer horrifically gore the old duffer with their antlers anyway it may just save him from the shame to come when the media and police come calling at 6am and confiscate his computer in a sealed plastic bag as the way things have been going on lately with all these BBC celebs ... ahem ahem, now that would make for a really alternate xmas play, and before you start shouting at your computer screen you beast how could you say that, just think nobody would have thought that of Saville and his cronies, and all the signs are there ..I mean come on ... he sneaks into family homes in the middle of the night, always hanging around children giving out freebies as enticements to sit on his lap and all in a "charitable" way and then suddenly disappears under the radar for a while to let the dust settle, and we will all be saying tut tut how did we not realise what was going on? :roll:

Anyway Im not buying any presents until after the world ends on the 21st, so thanks to the Mayans for that .....Now I wonder what the mayan Calendar would have looked like for 2013, I definately would like to have seen 12 months of colour pictures of the human sacrifices of the One direction plebs, and Decembers could have been a mass "live" human sacrifice of all the X factor contestants. :mrgreen:

Chin Chin :thumbup:


Come on, Ma Baker is a great song.

http://youtu.be/_9x_HuQqQ0k
...drinking cider, discussing butter
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by oomska » Thu Dec 13, 2012 10:58 pm

Ellietronic wrote:And I thought I was too cynical and bitter about the holidays. I think I may have just been out-scrooged. That was quite a rant. :lol:


Thanks, can I take that as a compliment then, definately one of my better rants ... I think its just the Christmas bull and its tacky tidings of good will always brings out the best in me .....though I'm just hoping that public stonings are still outlawed in the U.K well at least since the sixties anyway :wink:


McFuck wrote:I'm with you OOmska! Fuck it all! All Scrooges are invited to my house on Christmas for drinks and there will be no HOHOHOing.


A most excellent invite indeed, I'm definately up for a good moan and a chunner .... and drinks you say... I can certainly whine with the best of them :lol:

So that's settled your place Xmas day, as long as you coming to mine on boxing day, I found this place a couple of years ago its quite palatial ...... compared with a wheelie bin that is.....

Nice remote location hiddden amongst the mountains and far away from the city
Image

Stunning views
Image

Nice real open fire
Image

If I had my own way this year I would like to spend at least a few nights securely holed up here in my remote bothy, scavenged wood all chopped and neatly piled ready for an open fire, a bottle of Dows (half price in Sainys) ready to down with a steak grilled to perfection and minceys for afters, candles strategically placed around the nooks and cranny's illuminating my four peaceful walls in their dancing glow and some of my own selection of music to while away the untethered hours then fall asleep as pissed as a thirsty camel in an oasis of Cider in my double layered sleeping bag whilst clutching nervously onto my landing gear with the wind and frost calmly abated outside .. its not like I dont like Crimbo its just getting a bit tired and commercialised and the craving to do something completely different is overwhelming ... it sleeps 4-6 people the only worry is its open to anybody so you might end up lodging with a huge porrige eating Scotsman that wants to play the bagpipes all night :lol:


HE Bates wrote:
Come on, Ma Baker is a great song.

http://youtu.be/_9x_HuQqQ0k


Yeah ok, its just that their type of songs have a habit of invading my brain and wont bloody leave, just try Brown girl in the ring... it will stay with you for weeks :thumbdown:
.`. `. .


.`.
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by HE Bates » Fri Dec 14, 2012 11:03 am

Epic Rap Battles of History: Moses vs Santa Claus

http://youtu.be/0kRAKXFrYQ4
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by Ellietronic » Fri Dec 14, 2012 2:17 pm

oomska wrote:Thanks, can I take that as a compliment then, definately one of my better rants ... I think its just the Christmas bull and its tacky tidings of good will always brings out the best in me .....though I'm just hoping that public stonings are still outlawed in the U.K well at least since the sixties anyway :wink:


I intended it as more of an observation than anything. But what the hell, yeah, take it as a compliment if it makes you happy. Would it also be a compliment if I referred to you as Mr Meldrew from now on? :P :thumbup:

That view in those photos... :shock:

Maybe I'll quit my job and go and live halfway up that mountain in that shack. I don't mind scotsmen as long as they're friendly and share their whiskey with me. :D
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by haveyougotsoup » Fri Dec 14, 2012 7:41 pm

oomska wrote:
Ellietronic wrote:And I thought I was too cynical and bitter about the holidays. I think I may have just been out-scrooged. That was quite a rant. :lol:


Thanks, can I take that as a compliment then, definately one of my better rants ... I think its just the Christmas bull and its tacky tidings of good will always brings out the best in me .....though I'm just hoping that public stonings are still outlawed in the U.K well at least since the sixties anyway :wink:


McFuck wrote:I'm with you OOmska! Fuck it all! All Scrooges are invited to my house on Christmas for drinks and there will be no HOHOHOing.


A most excellent invite indeed, I'm definately up for a good moan and a chunner .... and drinks you say... I can certainly whine with the best of them :lol:

So that's settled your place Xmas day, as long as you coming to mine on boxing day, I found this place a couple of years ago its quite palatial ...... compared with a wheelie bin that is.....

Nice remote location hiddden amongst the mountains and far away from the city
Image

Stunning views
Image

Nice real open fire
Image

If I had my own way this year I would like to spend at least a few nights securely holed up here in my remote bothy, scavenged wood all chopped and neatly piled ready for an open fire, a bottle of Dows (half price in Sainys) ready to down with a steak grilled to perfection and minceys for afters, candles strategically placed around the nooks and cranny's illuminating my four peaceful walls in their dancing glow and some of my own selection of music to while away the untethered hours then fall asleep as pissed as a thirsty camel in an oasis of Cider in my double layered sleeping bag whilst clutching nervously onto my landing gear with the wind and frost calmly abated outside .. its not like I dont like Crimbo its just getting a bit tired and commercialised and the craving to do something completely different is overwhelming ... it sleeps 4-6 people the only worry is its open to anybody so you might end up lodging with a huge porrige eating Scotsman that wants to play the bagpipes all night :lol:


HE Bates wrote:
Come on, Ma Baker is a great song.

http://youtu.be/_9x_HuQqQ0k


Yeah ok, its just that their type of songs have a habit of invading my brain and wont bloody leave, just try Brown girl in the ring... it will stay with you for weeks :thumbdown:

Fucking beautiful place. :thumbup: :thumbup:
Chin Chin Soupy.

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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by oomska » Fri Dec 21, 2012 3:15 pm

haveyougotsoup wrote:Fucking beautiful place. :thumbup: :thumbup:


And more importantly .... it`s free to those who can afford it and free to those who can`t :thumbup:
.`. `. .


.`.
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by haveyougotsoup » Fri Dec 21, 2012 8:16 pm

oomska wrote:
haveyougotsoup wrote:Fucking beautiful place. :thumbup: :thumbup:


And more importantly .... it`s free to those who can afford it and free to those who can`t :thumbup:


How right you are.
Chin Chin Soupy.

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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by Bondee » Fri Dec 21, 2012 11:32 pm

Went and did my food shop this afternoon. If everyone who didn't need to be out had stayed at home the place would've been a ghost town.

I couldn't move for mewling, snot-nosed brats giving me their demostrations of Brownian motion, or killer pushchairs, wielded by the attractive young mothers* of Staines, who seemed intent on smashing my ankles to dust.

I suppose it was my own fault for venturing into town on a market day, less than a week before Xmas, but I've got to eat.


*sarcasm
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by oomska » Sat Dec 22, 2012 2:30 am

Just a few more days to go until the “arena of disappointment” gets under way, this year I am going to spice xmas dinner up a bit by swapping the jokes in the crackers for the most lewd, crass and insensitive ones that I can find online, ho fkin ho.
.`. `. .


.`.
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by McFuck » Sat Dec 22, 2012 8:58 pm

don't forget, drinks at my house Christmas Day. Then I have an excuse to stay home - I'll have guests!

plan on starting about 10 am. cake and tea provided, and I demand you bring lots of booze! :drunk:
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by Ellietronic » Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:49 pm

Can I bring my cat?
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by McFuck » Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:51 pm

of course! Evil Cat just loves company! (not)
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by Ellietronic » Sat Dec 22, 2012 11:08 pm

Socks is beautiful. Evil Cat might accept her for that. She can be a holiday girlfriend. :thumbup:
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Re: I'm not doing Christmas!

PostPosted by oomska » Mon Dec 24, 2012 6:24 pm

McFuck wrote:don't forget, drinks at my house Christmas Day. Then I have an excuse to stay home - I'll have guests!

plan on starting about 10 am. cake and tea provided, and I demand you bring lots of booze! :drunk:


Cocktails, breakfast, moan, trifle, bidet, sleep in that order...is that the plan?
.`. `. .


.`.
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